Don't Hug Portland
by Anonymous I own a bar in Eastmorland and most of the customers are our friends. You came in and were served by a friendly bartender. Who gave you a hug.......and then you stuck around for at least...
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PPS Superintendent Carole Smith Now Says She'll Retire ASAP
by Dirk VanderHart Portland Public Schools' search for a new leader begins now—unexpectedly. In a surprise announcement this morning PPS Superintendent Carole Smith announced she'll formally leave the...
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Timbers Sell Adam Kwarasey Back to Norway
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersProfessional sports is a tough racket. You have to perform week in and week out in order to stay employed, but even if you do that, you can't get hurt....
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Move Over, Burnside 26! The New Apartment Building You'll Love to Hate is the...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Courtesy CraigslistYou've seen this behemoth perched on the Burnside Bridgehead, and now the YARD is advertising one bedroom apartments (available Aug 1) for the low, low price...
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Donald Trump's Ghostwriter: The Man's a "Sociopath"
by Matt Baume Are we 100% sure Donald Trump is a human being and not a child's party balloon come to life?Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.comThe day after Donald Trump threw himself a lavish party to...
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Scott Baio's Path to RNC Glory
by Sean Nelson If his work in Skatetown USA is any indication, Baio is certain to be a commanding public speakerTinseltown/ShutterstockIf you're of a certain age and you see a headline that reads...
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Meet the Guy Who Says He Can Make $1,000 a Day Selling Trump Merch
by Heidi Groover Steve Scanlon, who's in Cleveland from Connecticut for the RNC, says he keeps Mace with him in case anyone tries to steal or destroy his pro-Trump merchandise. HG"Why Trump?" I ask...
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Advance Base Paints Curious Portraits of Fictional Lives
by Joshua James Amberson ADVANCE BASE Musical short stories.Jeffrey MariniOWEN ASHWORTH has written songs about bank robbers, obsessive recluses, and small-town riot grrrls. In his songs, Ashworth's...
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Good Morning, News: Superintendent Splits, Trump's Wife Plagiarizes, and Bike...
by Dirk VanderHart The big news, locally, is that Portland Public Schools Superintendent Carole Smith essentially bounced herself from any further involvement with the district yesterday, right after...
View ArticleEntitled Neighbors
by Anonymous You all want the "dilapidated" building I live in torn down because you want a donut shop or cafe in it's place. Some even mini orgasmed at the idea of a new season. You say it's rat and...
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You Know the Rules and So Do I: The Best Tweets From the Melania...
The Best Tweets From the Melania Trump-Michelle Obama Plagiarism Scandal by Tricia Romano Mere hours after the third Ms. Trump took the stage at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland,...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: My 13-Year-Old Son Is Watching Gay Porn
by Dan Savage Just wondering what the wisest way to handle discovering gay porn on my son’s phone would be. At the moment he’s not aware I’ve found it—and I wasn’t looking for it, Dan. I wasn’t...
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The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 8 - Less Horses, More Hometowns, Still Some...
by Campy Draper Your hair smells like a nightmare I had once. Courtesy of ABC/Carl CostasTonight’s Bachelorette was crazy! Is it me or does JoJo suddenly look like an expelled can of cheez whiz with a...
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We Put Biketown to the Test on Mt. Tabor. It Got Us to the Top—Eventually
by Dirk VanderHart Natalie BehringI’M NOT EVEN close to Mt. Tabor yet when it becomes apparent: This will be unpleasant. It’s a humid Thursday, threatening rain, and I’ve just gotten leave from...
View ArticleStephen Colbert and Jon Stewart Reunite to Remind Us Just How Angry We Should...
by Dan Savage ...at the Comedy Central executives who failed to offer them however much money they wanted to stick around through this year's general election:Colbert brings back his signature "The...
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Portland: Now Famous for Polyamory!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Enrique Ramos LopezAfter years of being in the national media spotlight for food carts, doughnuts, and bagpipe tootin' unicyclists, it looks like Portland is finally being...
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Eat That Question Is Zappa Being Zappa (for Better or Worse)
by Robert Ham During his lifetime, Frank Zappa was to the press what Donald Trump is now. The journalists of the world knew that if they pointed a camera and a microphone at the hirsute...
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Our Editors Made Us Tinder at the RNC, So We Spent 10 Minutes Talking to a...
by Sydney Brownstone We are following around photos of fetuses and protesters by day, but by night, we are on the prowl. Be warned, Cleveland: These ladies will be sitting in your local bars, smelling...
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Up Your Riesling Intake at Riesling Invasion
by MJ Skegg People should drink more Riesling. Not in the same way that everyone should eat more Omega 3 foods (lots of health benefits; flax seeds, walnuts and sardines are the way to go), but...
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Megyn Kelly Has Reportedly Told Lawyers That Roger Ailes Made Unwanted Sexual...
by Christopher Frizzelle Megyn Kelly has "described her harassment by Ailes in detail," according to a scoop this morning in New York magazine.HELGA ESTEB / SHUTTERSTOCK.COMFor weeks, the most talked...
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