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If You're Sick of Self-Deprecating Lonely Cat Lady Jokes, Jen Kirkman Has the...
by Megan Burbank "When we talk about being single, even if it is in the past, people flip out and want to fix it."Robyn von Swank"If I wrote a joke about having had a broken leg one time and I...
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Ghosts of Portland Restaurants Past
by Heather Arndt Anderson historicphotoarchive.net[From E+D, the Mercury's new Spring Eat & Drink Guide!]PEANUT BUTTER PIE at Metro on Broadway. Cobb salad at Meier & Frank's Georgian Room....
View ArticleHey! Hey! You! You! Shut Up About Your Boyfriend!
by Anonymous No way! No way! You could really use a new one...but seriously, we've been friends for a good three years and that's why I feel like I have to be the one to tell you that you that you...
View ArticleJetBlue Blazers Baby Boy
by Anonymous To the fucking idiot on the JetBlue flight back from JFK the night the Blazers beat the Clippers to close out Round 1.You were not at the game. You were in an aisle seat watching ESPN...
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What's It Like to Live with a Cannabis Columnist?
by NOT Josh Jardine OpenrangestockOUR CANNABUZZ COLUMNISThad a rough week, starting with overconsumption on 4/20, followed by the loss of our greatest Granddaddy Purple, Prince. As Josh Jardine gets...
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Revisiting The Man Who Sold the World
by Ned Lannamann HOLY HOLY Visconti and Woodmansey revisit The Man Who Sold the World.Howard PitkowHOLY HOLY's current touring show of The Man Who Sold the World wasn't meant to be an elegy for David...
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On the Road in Justin Tussing's Vexation Lullaby
by Sarah Meyer Justin Tussing's cinematic, Almost Famous-esque second novel, Vexation Lullaby, offers a split narrative revolving around Jimmy Cross, an aging iconoclast and "statue begging to be...
View ArticleThe Corpse is Still Warm
by Anonymous Yes. It's true. My love and I are on the outs. Odd that you didn't wait for the relationship to be declared ready for autopsy before swooping in, and pecking at the window like Poe's...
View ArticleSpage Age Gas Station in King City
by Anonymous You: braided pigtails and shorts. A pinkish orange top.Me: Grey NASA t-shirt and sunglasses.On Sunday around 3:15pm inside the Space Age on 99W. You were on foot and left southbound on...
View ArticleJammy Fallon
by Anonymous You know, I never really liked Jimmy Fallon. He was my least favorite case member of SNL (it was so fucking annoying how he'd break character all the time) and I never thought he'd go...
View ArticlePregnant Women Are Smug
by Anonymous Or so the song goes. When I found out I was sterile I breathed a sigh of relief. All of my friends have babies or are pregnant, and its a fucking literal shitty nightmare. Yay you had a...
View ArticleI Know What You are in the Dark
by Anonymous Let me tell you something that you need to know because nobody else is going to tell you...everybody really dislikes you. We all just find you really obnoxious. The girls don't enjoy how...
View ArticleFamily Back Home
by Anonymous I haven’t seen you in a while, and for a short time, I looked forward to your posts. I could tell it was you, or rather we could tell.Im not sure if you still read these, but I wanted to...
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Valeri, Gleeson Lead Timbers To Terrific Win Over Toronto
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersBetween Will Johnson returning to Portland and the promise of two of MLS' best teams going nose-to-nose on a triumph of a day Providence Park, it wasn't...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Portland's New City Budget, Blazers Fall/Timbers Soar,...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Throw on your brake lights. We're in the city of wonder, ain't gonna play nice. Watch out, you might just go under, better think twice. LET'S GO TO...
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Sing Street: Hey, At Least the Soundtrack Is Pretty Good!
by Ciara Dolan If you take off your glasses and watch John Carney's Sing Street out of focus—as a lighthearted teen romcom about following your dreams—you'll love it. The idea of a mousy 15-year-old...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: Undercutting Remarks
by Dan Savage Cameron Esposito wrote in with some bonus advice for Undercut. You'll find it after my advice.I just got dumped. The back story, I'm a lesbian in my mid twenties, and I had been seeing...
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The Mercury Endorses: Chloe Eudaly for City Commissioner, Position 4
by the Mercury Endorsement Strike Force A THEME came up in nearly every one of the Mercury's endorsement interviews: housing. Something else came up, too: housing. And every once in a while, a...
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Bleached at Doug Fir, Sat April 30
by Ciara Dolan Christopher Keith GarciaChristopher Keith GarciaSaturday night's sold-out Bleached show at the Doug Fir brought sunburned, Southern Californian punk to the shadowy Portland basement. No...
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Brooks Wheelan and Laura Kightlinger Added to Bridgetown Comedy Fest Lineup
by Megan Burbank Important comedy news! We've gotten word from Bridgetown Comedy Fest director Andy Wood that Brooks Wheelan and Laura Kightlinger—both formerly of SNL—have been added to this year's...
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