"Crazy Bernie" is how Donald Trump wants us to think of Bernie Sanders. That's Trump's new nickname for Bernie, joining such greats as "Lyin' Ted" and "Little Marco." He also called Elizabeth Warren"goofy."
And honestly... I don't feel great about Trump's latest nickname work. Some of Trump's early attacks were sound, but "Crazy Bernie"? It doesn't have the same musical quality as "Little Marco." And it's not even that fresh, since people have been calling Bernie crazy his whole life. I give him a D-minus on this one.
It's certainly not up to the standards established by our last terrible president, who called his wife "Bushy," Vladimir Putin "Pootie-Poot," and Karl Rove "Turd Blossom." Now THAT was a man who could bestow nicknames while destroying a country.
Trump's recent disappointments notwithstanding, apparently the GOP has a whole plan in place to get Trump to knock it off with the nicknames. A bunch of top GOP figures met with him in DC this morning, and while the economy and jobs were reportedly on the agenda, many Congressional Republicans are pushing for a moratorium on insults.
"Knock off the gratuitous personal insults and to do a lot more outreach," said Susan Collins of Maine. "I think it puts off an awful lot of people," said John Cornyn of Texas, who probably is dreading the day he will be called "Corny Cornyn" on background by senior officials in the Trump administration.
Orrin Hatch said he wants to see Trump "opening up and being decent," which is a larf given that he called progressives"straight old dumbass liberals" and made fun of Barack Obama's hat.
Apparently Donald's doing what he can do undo some of the ill will he's been sowing — he's on what's been described as the "make nice tour," meeting with various politicians he's insulted to win back their support. And whatever he's telling those politicians in their private meetings seems to be working: Paul Ryan just said that "what we’re trying to do is be as constructive as possible but have a real unification." This was after he said just a few days earlier that he was "just not ready" to endorse Trump.
It's nice that he can mend fences with one-on-ones, but is he going to have to hold meetings with everyone he's insulted? It's going to take a while to meet with every single Hispanic voter ("criminals"), veterans ("people who weren't captured"), Jews ("you folks... I don't want your money"), Muslims ("this problem"), women ("they get it better than we do"), and the Bushes ("low energy")?
But at least Trump hasn't insulted EVERYONE in the world. Yet. He has the support of former punchline Dan Quayle. You kids may not remember this, but back in the 80s the Vice President was always doing something stupid and funny. It was hilarious, except when George H. W. Bush had health scares and suddenly there was a chance that Potatoe Man — famed anchorwoman Murphy Brown's sworn nemesis — would get the nuclear codes.
Anyway, Dan Quayle told CNBC that Trump is a uniter and he's gonna win. But he's probably only saying it because he's afraid of getting yet another insulting nickname.